southernsnowdogs:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

One of my favorites

705,736 notes

civilwr:

We have already been to, like, five different doctors.

6,822 notes

scampthecorgi:
“ Mr. Scamp has a green thumb! Well… a green stump.
”

scampthecorgi:

Mr. Scamp has a green thumb! Well… a green stump.

65,729 notes

tomfletcherscats:

i love when my preschoolers pretend to be talking on the phone bc if u leave them to their own devices and observe they just start saying things they’ve heard adults say into the phone like “hello i have an appointment, i’d like some rice”

359,422 notes

spiritualprojection:
“ Whoever runs pizza hut’s Twitter account is sassy as hell
”

spiritualprojection:

Whoever runs pizza hut’s Twitter account is sassy as hell

173,645 notes

superagentpeggycarter:
“ sometimes the onion is a little too real
”

superagentpeggycarter:

sometimes the onion is a little too real

132,276 notes

meowvgonspengler:

IM FUCKING CRYING I’M AT WALMART AND LOOK AT THIS HORRIFYING THING WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MAKE A THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE PIGGY BANK THAT’S STILL SHAPED LIKE A PIG I’M LOSING IT FUCKING LOOK AT THIS NIGHTMARE SPAWN

93,788 notes